somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
