you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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