it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm like, not good at living.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
