We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize