Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
