Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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