Swine flu. Run for my life!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize