Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
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i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
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I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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