4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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