Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
