so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
