Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
