We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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