i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
