The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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