there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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