Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
