Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
