Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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