I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
