I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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