If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize