Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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