I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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