so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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