How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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