I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
