so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
