he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
