yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
