Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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