I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
