He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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