Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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