We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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