It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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