That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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