Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
