Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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