The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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