that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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