In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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