U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
