so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I would fuck him just for his dog
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
