very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
4 words: hood of his car
He is an equal opportunity slut.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he fucked my hip out of place.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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