We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
