I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize