Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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