he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
