Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
