i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
