Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
