If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize