I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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