if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
