he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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