i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
